I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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