I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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