is your mom at the bar?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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