RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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