Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
