its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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