I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
