tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
