dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm passing your future prison.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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