sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
