My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
