I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
