Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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