I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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