Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
