So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You need a sexual gate keeper
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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