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• (801): View more from Utah

  hey, what are you doing tonight?

  (646): View more from New York

  sleeping, g'night!

  (801): View more from Utah

  but i wanted to see you :(

  (646): View more from New York

  sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!

  (646): View more from New York

  stop - you have a right hand - use it!

  Fav 10 1223 1851

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I could make treat bags

  Fav 104 6584 1057

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.

  Fav 20 6091 1164

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight

  Fav 22 4701 1865

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

  Fav 14 1101 7146

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• (727): View more from Florida

  You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.

  Fav 3 1262 2889

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.

  Fav 6 1608 980

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing

  Fav 9 1539 1084

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am too young to be this hungover

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?

  Fav 5 910 1293

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  he went at my nipples like a starved dog.

  Fav 11 873 1671

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes

  Fav 2 926 642

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "

  Fav 5 742 1218

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• (415): View more from California

  Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

  Fav 5 898 631

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it

  Fav 1 980 564

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• (310): View more from California

  dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor

  Fav 2 57 4

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