Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...

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(314): Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship... http://tfl.nu/725d

Replies (12) Good night (887) Bad night (1461)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.

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(203): I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help. http://tfl.nu/59br

Replies (44) Good night (6189) Bad night (715)
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(518): View more from New York

Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.

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(518): Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower. http://tfl.nu/xf7t

Replies (17) Good night (4832) Bad night (730)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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(201): i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night http://tfl.nu/v4yn

Replies (73) Good night (1253) Bad night (12875)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.

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(405): Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment. http://tfl.nu/t7rb

Replies (3) Good night (2373) Bad night (973)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses

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(203): Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses http://tfl.nu/2wtf

Replies (6) Good night (2383) Bad night (831)
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(631): View more from New York

using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

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(631): using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here. http://tfl.nu/lsdl

Replies (5) Good night (1966) Bad night (681)
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(234): View more from Ohio

Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.

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(234): Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me. http://tfl.nu/x5lb

Replies (3) Good night (1759) Bad night (588)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.

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(610): She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her. http://tfl.nu/io76

Replies (10) Good night (1046) Bad night (2517)
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(626): View more from California

yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably

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(626): yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably http://tfl.nu/rjum

Replies (9) Good night (604) Bad night (2089)
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(516): View more from New York

It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post

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(516): It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post http://tfl.nu/8lgm

Replies (17) Good night (2561) Bad night (823)
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(512): View more from Texas

Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me

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(512): Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me http://tfl.nu/3y5j

Replies (19) Good night (1248) Bad night (971)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.

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(208): Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up. http://tfl.nu/qoxa

Replies (9) Good night (499) Bad night (1060)
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(909): View more from California

Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.

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(909): Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring. http://tfl.nu/ocwc

Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (277)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny

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(603): Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny http://tfl.nu/ui8a

Replies (4) Good night (710) Bad night (238)

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