why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.