Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.

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  (208): I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe. http://tfl.nu/02tv
  Replies (19) Good night (4178) Bad night (1317)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole

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  (705): i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole http://tfl.nu/tpm5
  Replies (27) Good night (783) Bad night (6783)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.

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  (417): So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes. http://tfl.nu/bjrk
  Replies (48) Good night (9445) Bad night (1434)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables

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  (214): New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables http://tfl.nu/m9ex
  Replies (27) Good night (6397) Bad night (876)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.

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  (612): ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good. (763): haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/7v2j
  Replies (41) Good night (1442) Bad night (3356)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.

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  (937): I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens. http://tfl.nu/zmnj
  Replies (18) Good night (6842) Bad night (1319)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend

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  (636): i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend http://tfl.nu/jil2
  Replies (7) Good night (6452) Bad night (1086)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution

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  (406): just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution http://tfl.nu/z6cd
  Replies (10) Good night (1280) Bad night (931)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.

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  (620): I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify. http://tfl.nu/e3b2
  Replies (4) Good night (1330) Bad night (754)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  I regret nothing

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  (702): Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal. (1-702): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/jdko
  Replies (12) Good night (2657) Bad night (718)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.

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  (704): Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox. http://tfl.nu/wyx0
  Replies (18) Good night (1480) Bad night (3807)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here

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  (406): the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here http://tfl.nu/np6z
  Replies (5) Good night (1957) Bad night (478)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday

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  (603): Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday http://tfl.nu/obg3
  Replies (10) Good night (1756) Bad night (569)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.

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  (202): We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer. http://tfl.nu/6uoe
  Replies (2) Good night (1171) Bad night (394)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The student becomes the teacher.

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  (816): It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar. (314): The student becomes the teacher. http://tfl.nu/thu8
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (530)

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