Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.

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  (917): So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions. http://tfl.nu/wfn7
  Replies (6) Good night (999) Bad night (494)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury

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  (850): paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury http://tfl.nu/f86j
  Replies (13) Good night (987) Bad night (736)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.

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  (321): I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment. http://tfl.nu/8o3c
  Replies (18) Good night (3269) Bad night (669)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did

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  (910): Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did http://tfl.nu/f390
  Replies (14) Good night (3898) Bad night (698)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.

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  (440): Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing. http://tfl.nu/x35s
  Replies (51) Good night (10522) Bad night (1569)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.

  (206): View more from Washington

  Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.

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  (206): imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk. (206): Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy. http://tfl.nu/ynk1
  Replies (21) Good night (7045) Bad night (866)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex

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  (314): For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex http://tfl.nu/vblx
  Replies (20) Good night (1326) Bad night (4593)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone

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  (206): In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone http://tfl.nu/jkow
  Replies (5) Good night (1907) Bad night (1484)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.

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  (314): Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love. http://tfl.nu/b9x6
  Replies (2) Good night (1581) Bad night (718)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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  (505): It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm. http://tfl.nu/vdhu
  Replies (15) Good night (4907) Bad night (797)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?

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  (717): What time do you think you'll be heterosexual? http://tfl.nu/40xd
  Replies (6) Good night (1253) Bad night (725)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.

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  (952): You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans. http://tfl.nu/wpte
  Replies (5) Good night (954) Bad night (451)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable

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  (646): Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable http://tfl.nu/rcay
  Replies (6) Good night (1239) Bad night (334)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.

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  (307): eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me. http://tfl.nu/amg7
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (433)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....

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  (317): I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong.... http://tfl.nu/btjr
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (307)

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