I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
