At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
tell me about the fingering
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
