it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize