TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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