South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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