i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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