Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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