Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
