question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
