so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
