My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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