Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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