dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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