I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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