I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
