he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
