The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
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not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
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I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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