I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
