Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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