I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
