So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize