Are we in a gay sports bar?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He passed out mid-signature
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
