I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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