sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize