I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
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Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize