Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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