I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
