Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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