So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
