She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
