Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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