They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize