He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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