Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
