Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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