Dual....:-)
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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