Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
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lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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