Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
