I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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