It's Friday. Sex?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
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It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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