I'm going to jail i love you
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
