no, he came in my armpit
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
