Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
