Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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