a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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