that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
