just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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