would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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