hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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