apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
